For supper I went to a barbecue restaurant right next to the Delta Cafe. I thought the sign just said "Buddies BBQ" but the "B" actually doubles as a "3" so the full name is "3 Buddies BBQ." I've been driving past that restaurant at least once a week for almost three years now, but only today did I realize what the sign actually said. And the only reason I came to that realization at all was because somebody else was talking about it in the car.
Anyway, I've been on this I'm-going-to-drink-80-gallons-of-water-per-day stint for the past few weeks. (I suppose I take pride in my colorless pee.) I went to the restroom before I left, and was a bit taken aback by what I saw.
Take a closer look at the positions of the sink and the urinal. There was a gap of about one foot between them. With no divider. And not only that, they were at the same height. Holy cow. What if somebody mistook one for the other? It wouldn't be difficult to do. Anyway, I was thoroughly grossed out by that, and I washed my hands again when I got home.
I've also realized something that I think is kind of a jerk-ish thing to do, but which I find myself doing embarrassingly often: jumping the gun at the punchline of a joke. You know what I'm talking about: somebody retells a joke or a funny story he's heard on the internet or from one of your mutual friends or from a comedian, and you know exactly how the joke goes and you really like it, so after the guy spends five solid minutes building the story up, you jump in enthusiastically and steal the punchline, and everybody laughs at you instead of at the other guy.
I do this all the time. I think I even did it today. Somebody was telling the classic Jim Gaffigan joke: "Fruit, good; cake, great; fruitcake, nasty crap." And what did I do? I waited: "... yeah... yeah... nasty crap! Ha ha ha!" It's never out of malice, but it still makes me kind of a jerk. So, dearest readers, don't steal punchlines. Yes, they're funny, but if you didn't tell the story, give the real storyteller his moment in the spotlight.
The sound our vent makes when the air conditioner or the heater turns on sounds exactly like a fart. Exactly. Not a high-pitched trumpet, but a deep, full-bodied tuba. The temperature fluctuates like crazy in our apartment because none of the things that should be sealed are sealed, so the AC turns on about every 30 minutes and heralds itself with a majestic frrrrrrrrump.
And last of all. I went to Sun's website for some reason or another, and I was greeted with this image:
Gah, this made me laugh. Doesn't he look funny? I'm sure he's a whole lot smarter than I am, and I'm not trying to be mean, I just think it's absolutely hysterical.
I've also realized something that I think is kind of a jerk-ish thing to do, but which I find myself doing embarrassingly often: jumping the gun at the punchline of a joke. You know what I'm talking about: somebody retells a joke or a funny story he's heard on the internet or from one of your mutual friends or from a comedian, and you know exactly how the joke goes and you really like it, so after the guy spends five solid minutes building the story up, you jump in enthusiastically and steal the punchline, and everybody laughs at you instead of at the other guy.
I do this all the time. I think I even did it today. Somebody was telling the classic Jim Gaffigan joke: "Fruit, good; cake, great; fruitcake, nasty crap." And what did I do? I waited: "... yeah... yeah... nasty crap! Ha ha ha!" It's never out of malice, but it still makes me kind of a jerk. So, dearest readers, don't steal punchlines. Yes, they're funny, but if you didn't tell the story, give the real storyteller his moment in the spotlight.
The sound our vent makes when the air conditioner or the heater turns on sounds exactly like a fart. Exactly. Not a high-pitched trumpet, but a deep, full-bodied tuba. The temperature fluctuates like crazy in our apartment because none of the things that should be sealed are sealed, so the AC turns on about every 30 minutes and heralds itself with a majestic frrrrrrrrump.
And last of all. I went to Sun's website for some reason or another, and I was greeted with this image:
Gah, this made me laugh. Doesn't he look funny? I'm sure he's a whole lot smarter than I am, and I'm not trying to be mean, I just think it's absolutely hysterical.
1 comment:
I saw him when I was at JavaOne. He looks funny in person too. But he's brilliant and freaking loaded so he can really look however he wants.
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