The 2006-07 school year, in quotes

"That wasn't nearly as popular as their hit single, 'Purifying the Environment.' "
- Dr. Jerry Faught, commenting on a group of singing Tibetan Buddhist monks


"Human body is nothing. You can fry it with a lot of things."
- Dr. Albert Chen


Student: "See, I was right!"
Dr. Chen: "No, you weren't right. I just made mistake."


"This called 'annihilation' process. I call it 'kill each other' process."
- Dr. Albert Chen, commenting on matter-antimatter reactions


"I wish you wouldn't ask me that question, Alfred. That makes me really sad... I bet you didn't expect that would bum me out so much, huh."
- Dr. Nathan Malmberg, in regard to a question about nomenclature of polyfunctional molecules


"In chemistry, 'degenerate' does not mean having loose morals."
- Dr. Michael Jordan


"Hey guys, only... one, two three, four... one, two, three four, five six... only ten more tests, you done with my class."
- Dr. Albert Chen


"I just didn't want you to have this image of a bottle brush sweeping out your poopy rectum."
- Dr. Dale Utt


Student: "So are these all concept questions [on the test]?"
Dr. Chen: "Mostly concept. Depend on how lucky your finger is, so go to church this Sunday. Have good prayer."


"So that's the happy story of pregnancy. You all need to go thank your mothers, because they had you, you little parasites."
- Dr. Dale Utt


"I would be a lousy conjoined twin."
- Dr. Dale Utt


"Cleaning is not a stress reliever. That's called 'obsession.' They make pills for people like you."
- Dr. Brad Jett


"I do not have a man-crush on Alexander the Great. It's a historical infatuation."
- Dr. Bobby Kelly


"Let's be completely irrational for a minute."
- Dr. Randy Ridenour


Student: "Why did you decide to come to a small Christian university, Dr. Malmberg?"
Dr. Malmberg: "Because I'm a small Christian."


"I will not say something not right."
- Dr. Albert Chen